Ned was standing at the entrance of the dugout, staring at the pitcher. Nancy's lips curled up as she watched him. She understood why he wasn't in the game—it was near the end of the season, Emerson was going to win handily, so this was a chance to allow the newer players some low-risk experience—but she also knew that he wanted to go out on a championship season.
She sat down in the bleachers, slowly. A sweating bottle of water was in her left hand, and she took another long drink with a sigh. Already the ice was a muted rattle against the plastic; the day was too hot, everything was too hot. But she hadn't been able to wait.
The sunscreen was a gritty residue against her skin, and Nancy wrinkled her nose and tugged her sunhat out of her bag. Too much longer, and she would have to hike back to her car, crank up the air conditioning...
But, as though he could sense her, as the inning ended, Ned glanced over and saw her. His entire face lit up.
She smiled and waved, even though her stomach flipped. As crucial as this felt, she still couldn't see him reacting well. Not with his life already at the verge of such tremendous change.
After the game Nancy was gleaming with sweat, almost continually mopping her face, and Ned came over to her. She met him at the gate, and he wrapped her in a tight hug.
"You made good time, huh."
She nodded. "Where did you decide on?"
"Eh. Let me get cleaned up, and we can decide after. That okay?"
She nodded again, searching his gaze, studying his face. Memorizing it. As anxious as she was, as ominous as everything seemed, this stillness before the inevitable still took her breath away. She did love him. Every time she was in his presence, she relearned it, and it felt impossible to forget. As though her love for him was something elemental, atomic, irrefutable.
And yet. And yet.
She showered too, changing into a loose coral sundress printed in white flowers, with a string of turquoise beads hanging around her neck and a pair of earrings to match. She wanted to look good for this, even while she was telling herself that once she spoke the words, what she was wearing wouldn't matter. The words would wipe everything else away.
Ned looked incredible at dinner, sitting across from her, bathed in the golden drench of sunset. His shirt was a pale shade of blue that reminded her of a stormy gray, and it set off his late-spring tan perfectly. He was joyful, both at the incredible season and at everything his graduation would set in motion.
And she knew that she was about to... well. Throw a wrench into everything, at the very least.
He smiled, after the appetizers arrived. "So what's going on?"
She propped her chin on her hand. She wanted to wait until dessert, to give him this last nice meal. But it felt like pressure in her, terrible and in desperate need of release. "So, the Los Angeles trip," she said, trying to keep her voice casual.
He nodded.
"You know... that I..." She glanced down. "I don't know how to say this."
He reached across the table and touched her hand. "Did something happen?"
She smiled. "A lot of things," she replied. "So... based on the timing... uh, I seem to be carrying Tanner Thunderwood's love child."
Ned blinked, searching her eyes. "Really?"
She nodded, searching his eyes too, afraid of what she would find.
--
The case had seemed pretty straightforward. To keep an eye on Chris Adrian, Nancy needed to get on the inside, but the group dynamic meant she would have to pose as a girlfriend. Chris was serving as Tanner Thunderwood's mentor, and Tanner had backstage access, and, well.
Was Tanner hot? Incredibly. His sculpted muscles, stubbled square jawline, and sinfully long eyelashes, enhanced by just a touch of eyeliner—well, damn. Bess's description of him as "hot as breakfast" was apt, and she took that one for the team: infiltrating Chris's entourage as Tanner's devoted fan, then as his girlfriend. Nancy kept in touch with Bess as Bess kept an eye on everything for her, while Nancy worked her way through the various levels of the companies around Chris, those invested in promoting him and his music, to find the person doing all they could to tank his career. On the surface it felt like misguided attempts at publicity, but they were just a touch too mean-spirited to be that naive.
Nancy was running a background check on a new roadie's social media accounts when she answered a knock at her hotel room's door and found Bess standing there—or, more accurately, slumping against the frame, eyes glassy, cheeks flushed, nose red.
"Oh no," Nancy groaned. "Oh, I'm sorry."
Bess nodded, wiping her nose. "One hundred percent on you," she agreed, shuffling into Nancy's room. "I need to crash for a few hours. The show's at eight."
Nancy nodded, grabbing her tablet. "I take it his room is…"
"A madhouse," Bess confirmed. "I would love to eavesdrop but my ears keep ringing…"
"Get some rest. I'm sorry."
Bess waved her hand in dismissal, then collapsed onto the unoccupied bed in Nancy's room, directly into congested sleep.
She didn't intend to see Tanner; she had a lot to do, and Chris was able to text her directly. She didn't need to use Tanner as a messenger. Not only that, she knew that if she were anywhere near him, she wouldn't be able to stop herself. He was magnetic. He drew her, and she didn't need the distraction.
She knew all that.
But when she dressed to attend the night's concert, she shimmied into a black leather skirt and a draping teal top that caught the light and set off her eyes. She needed to blend in with the crowd, in case the culprit was in attendance. Bess was still out cold, and clearly needed the rest; Nancy was still recovering from her own bout with it a few days earlier.
She used her VIP pass to gain backstage access and checked available spaces, inspected gear, eavesdropped on conversations. She checked out the crew filming the show for a livestream. She listened to the opening act, but only as background noise, and took a few covert snapshots with her phone whenever anything felt just a little off.
And then, it was like that nearly imperceptible tension before a storm broke, and her gaze was drawn to the stage.
Tanner. He strode out to a spate of applause, a few whistles, and Nancy felt a sick, ugly wave of jealousy.
Especially when he smiled a smile that should have been for her alone.
Nancy shook her head, trying to dismiss the unwelcome feeling and focus on the case, but… but she deserved a break, and it was just too damn hard to force her gaze away from him.
He was incredible. His stage presence, his easy charisma, the way he carried himself. Confident, with an easy, gorgeous grin. Magnetic without seeming overly polished or fake. He laughed at something Chris did, and Nancy's heart leapt. She could tell that her cheeks were flushed.
She had known that she needed to stay away from him.
Then he stepped up to the microphone, and as he joined Chris's next song, tears actually pricked in Nancy's eyes. He was just unbelievably good.
And that same unwelcome doubt surged in her. On nights like tonight, Ned felt a thousand miles away from her, and she hated the uncertainty of it. She would be gone soon, back home, all of this close to forgotten.
Then Tanner glanced up, his gaze somehow finding Nancy's in the crowd, and that little grin really did feel like it was only for her.
It was like his performance was fueled by her presence, like he was trying to impress her, and despite everything, he did. She couldn't stop watching him, even though she kept reminding herself that she needed to go backstage again, that this would be the perfect opportunity for someone to fuck something up. It was only once she noticed that the livestreaming crew was apparently flipping out that she was able to stop watching the concert.
And she did all she could to stop herself. She helped them get the show back online, instead of leaving the fans who were watching remotely angry and frustrated. She did manage to tear herself away long enough to go backstage.
But after everything was over and they had left the venue, she still found herself standing outside the room Tanner was sharing with Bess, fully aware that Bess was in Nancy's room, that Tanner was likely alone.
She knocked quietly, aware that her skin was gleaming from exertion, her makeup in desperate need of touching up, her hair fallen down a little—but, with any luck, damned or not, in an alluring way.
Tanner opened the door, and the sight of him stole her breath, leaving her lightheaded. Speechless.
"I've been waiting for you."
And when he swept her into his arms, every atom of her body was screaming yes.
--
"I…" Ned shook his head, clearly speechless himself. "What… do you want to do?"
"Well, my first step… would be to tell him. See how he feels about it."
"But how do you feel about it?"
She shrugged. "Anxious. Scared, terrified, whatever's a step beyond that. But a little excited, too. I truly didn't plan for this. I know he didn't either."
Ned snickered. "That's for sure."
"It had to be that cold. The meds I took must have interfered with my birth control somehow." She searched his eyes. "I think it's important for you to know," she said quietly. "Otherwise, I…"
"Wouldn't have," he finished, meeting her eyes too as he realized. If she had chosen otherwise, they wouldn't even be having the conversation. If she had decided it was all a mistake, one she needed to rectify, she likely would never have told him.
She nodded. "I know… that your life… that you're about to graduate, that everything's going to change. During that case, I saw… a different path, I guess. It scared me."
He reached for her hand, touched it, and she turned hers over, lacing their fingers together slowly. "Being around all those big stars…"
"Intoxicating, huh."
He shrugged. "I know who I am."
She smiled. "But sometimes I see who you could be," she replied. "You're so good at everything, Ned. Your coaches… hell, anyone who's been around you for more than five minutes. We can all see it. And it's intimidating."
"This, coming from the woman who's taken on drug cartels and kidnappers and assassins."
"But I've never taken on this."
He nodded slowly. "I'll do whatever you want," he said. "We can find a bigger place…"
She took a long moment. "I don't want this to be because I'm pregnant."
"Well, the extra room would be for the baby."
She snickered. "You know what I mean."
"We've been talking about this for a while, now. Since… before L.A. You know I love you, and I want to be with you."
She smiled, briefly, almost reflexively. "I just never thought it would be like this."
Ned shrugged. "It's a lot," he agreed. "I might flip out later. But for now…" He shook his head slowly, his lips turning up. His eyes were glowing. "We made a baby," he said, his voice full of wonder.
She shook her head. "I made a baby with Tanner Thunderwood," she corrected him.
"True. Do you want that on the baby shower invitations?"
Nancy giggled. "'Thanks to an incredibly steamy night with a rock and roll prodigy, I'm pleased to announce that our baby is due this spring. Gift cards appreciated.'"
"Incredibly steamy, huh."
"Seemed more polite than 'leather pants and a very ill-timed birth control failure.'"
"The stars all just happened to align."
She searched his gaze. "Did they?"
He raised her hand and kissed her knuckles. "Let yourself think about it," he said. "We'll find a place where you can imagine a crib and a rocking chair. For later, if not for now… or for maybe. But if this is what you want, I'm all in. I mean that."
Her eyes pricked with tears. "That's what you said," she teased him, even though she had to force the words past the lump in her throat.
Ned laughed. "Like you didn't know," he murmured, his voice low.
She forced another smile; her lips were trembling a little, and two tears had slid down her cheeks. "You're the only guy I can imagine beside me for this," she said.
He smiled. "Given the circumstances, what do you think, a little toy guitar for the first birthday party?"
She snickered. "A shatterproof magnifying glass," she retorted.
"Excellent point." He kissed her hand again, brushing his lips over each knuckle, his breath warm on her skin. The intimacy made her shiver. "I love you."
Her heart leaped, the way it always did when he said those words. "I love you too."
He sighed. "I'll find a way past the hurt and betrayal of knowing that you cheated on me, with a slightly hotter version of me who enjoys a dramatic smoky eye, and win you again."
"You sure? Those leather pants…" She groaned quietly at the memory, holding her other hand to her chest.
"It's not what I can do in the leather pants," he told her, "but what I can do once you've peeled them off."
"Excellent point." She shook her head. "I… our parents…"
"Will be happy. Whatever we decide." He held her gaze. "We were being responsible. Maybe the timing wasn't what we planned, but it's a new life. Just in more ways than we thought."
She smiled. "Who would have thought, after a handful of wild tour stops, Tanner Thunderwood would settle down."
"Go out on a high note," he replied, then chuckled. "The only role that could top 'rock god.'"
"Dad," she said, and smiled.